Broken Hearts and Shattered Lives
by Midnight-Gypsy101
Summary: Rory's broken and everyone in town is at a loss as to what to do, but Jess knows her and with the help of Luke, he can help her. Please read and review
1. Chapter 1

A/N- For Kassandra27 who just left me around 75 reviews : ) And for everyone else who reads and reviews my stories, I really appreciate your feedback, keep it coming.

Just as a warning, this fanfic is going to be full of drama, and the characters will most likely be OOC often.

Set at the start of the summer Rory was in Washington, only she never kissed Jess and something else stopped her going to Washington.

Broken Hears and Shattered Lives

Chapter One

Rory's eyes glazed over as Miss Patti spoke to her, she couldn't care less what the older woman was saying, she couldn't care less what anyone was saying to her today. It was hot outside and the sky was the brightest blue, and somehow that only made Rory feel more broken. Across the square she could see her boyfriend, Dean Forrester, walking towards her. She snapped and without excusing herself from the table in the square, where she was sat with Miss Patti, Kirk and Babette, she got up, took off the uncomfortable heels and ran. She'd never been known to run before, but now she felt like she never wanted to stop. Her black skirt flapped about as she ran, the black chiffon blouse with tiny blue flowers printed on it, was starting to stick to her because of the sweat. Tears had streaked her mascara down her face, but she didn't care how she looked, she didn't care about anything. She felt numb as she stepped onto the bridge, the one place she could come for solitude. She pulled her hair down from the neat bun she had it in, and let the strands of hair fall messily around her shoulders. As she looked down at her reflection in the water she cried harder, wishing she could stop this pain. After a deep breath Rory jumped off the bridge, hitting the cool water and sinking beneath the surface.

The next thing she knew a pair of arms had encircled her waist, and she was being pulled onto the grassy embankment.

'What the heck were you thinking!' Jess' words were harsh, he wasn't the type to act different with her, he wouldn't be gentle and compassionate with her, not even today, and strangely that made her feel a little better. She knew he wouldn't let her get away with anything stupid, like everyone else in town was doing for her, they excused whatever she did, Jess wasn't like that. He'd still call her out on it, even though they hadn't known each other that long. She registered his words and looked over at him.

'Nothing, I wasn't thinking anything.' Rory shrugged her shoulders.

'Clearly, you could have drowned! Is that what you were trying to do?' Again his words were sharp, and she knew without a doubt that if anyone else had found her, they would have wrapped her in hugs, and soothed her and made her feel worse.

'No, I just wanted to feel something other than grief, something other than this sadness. I wanted to feel the rush of being pulled under the water…I wasn't trying to….I would never…' Rory shook her head. 'I'm sorry.'

'You know you've got some really messed up ways of making yourself feel…jeez…' he trailed off and looked at her with sadness. She was broken, he knew that much because he'd been broken before. In a different way but still broken. 'Are you ok?'

If anyone else had asked her that today, of all days, she would have hated them for it, she would have screamed at them, how could she possibly be ok, but it was Jess, and she knew that he didn't mean it the way everyone else did, he wasn't struggling for something to say. He was simply asking her how she was coping, asking her in his own way if she wanted to be left alone, and she understood his subtle language and rested her head on his shoulder.

'I don't think I'll ever be ok.' Rory said because she knew she could rely on him, not just to understand but also not to come up with some clichéd response, the kind of thing she'd heard all day, the it'll be okays, and the just give it time. She knew he wouldn't say anything like that, because she knew that he'd know it wouldn't make her feel better.

'Come on I'm taking you back to the diner, you're staying there tonight.' Jess said taking her hands and pulling her up, it wasn't a question that required a response, so she simply let herself be led towards the diner, because he'd read her mind, that she was scared to go back to that house, scared to sleep there knowing how empty it was.

'Jess?'

'Yeah?'

'I never even got to say goodbye.' Rory said quietly. Jess looked at her sideways and put an arm around her waist, this girl was so strong most of the time, but today she looked as though she would fall down without his support.

'I know.'

'It was harder than anything else…I got to the hospital and she was already….'

'I know.' And she knew that he did know, so she just leaned into his side and followed him through the town, past all the townspeople, who looked at the soaked pair with curiosity in their eyes. Their stares were met with the tired, uncaring gaze of the seventeen year old girl, and the hard "back off" stare of Jess, as he led her into the diner and up the stairs, away from their prying eyes. As they entered the dark apartment, the curtains drawn to block out the sun, Jess noticed that Luke was sat on the couch in the dark. Today had been hard on him as well, more than he'd let anyone else see, but Jess was good at reading people, he knew how much Luke had loved Lorelai, even if he'd never admitted it to anyone.

'Hey…Rory? What are you doing here, is everything…?' He trailed off knowing that for this girl nothing would be ok, he rubbed his head and looked at Jess for the answer to his unfinished question.

'Rory's going to stay with us for a while.' Jess replied guiding Rory to his own bed, and letting her lay down before indicating for Luke to follow him to the hall.

'What's going on?' Luke asked closing the door behind him.

'She can't face going back to her house.'

'She said that?'

'She didn't have to…did you know that last night she slept at the bridge?' Jess asked.

'No! She said she was staying with her grandparents.' Luke said in shock.

'Yeah and she told them she was staying at Lane's, she told Lane she wanted to spend the night in her own home…but none of it was true, she couldn't face going back to that house and she couldn't face being around anyone.' Jess replied. 'She can't go back there yet.'

'Ok…and she wants to stay here?'

'I think so.' Jess replied. 'I'm pretty sure she needs to be somewhere that she can just grieve…without all the fussing and concern.'

'So we're not concerned?' Luke crossed his arms over his chest.

'Of course we are! But Rory knows how much you loved Lorelai, she knows that out of everyone you're probably feeling almost as much of this as much as she is, so she doesn't have to explain it to you, you'll just get it…and I…'

'Yeah I know, I've noticed it. You understand her like nobody else could, Lorelai noticed it as well, before….' Luke looked like he was about to break down.

'She hated me.' Jess said leaning against the wall.

'No she didn't, she was just scared because of how well you and Rory connected, she told me once.' Luke said smiling slightly. 'So…why are you both soaked?'

'Oh…Rory went swimming.' Jess shrugged going back inside.

'Huh?' Luke shook his head, deciding that they'd tell him in time if they wanted him to know.

(&)

Rory's eyes adjusted to the gloomy light around her, she sat up in bed trying to remember where she was. She looked down and saw herself dressed in a Metallica t-shirt and some sweatpants, and she remembered changing into them last night, Jess had brought her here to sleep. As she got out of bed she saw Jess, sleeping on the blow up mattress that had been his bed when he first got to town, Luke wasn't anywhere in sight so she assumed he'd gone out. She was surprised that she'd slept at all the night before, it was the first time since her mothers death that she'd managed to sleep for more than half an hour. There was something about this place that made her feel safe, slowly she wandered into the bathroom, where someone had hung her clothes from the day before, they were still wet so she went back into the main room, pulled open one of Jess' draws and picked out a black button down shirt and a black t-shirt with The Clash written on it, returning to the bathroom she turned the shower on until the water was scolding hot, then stepped under the jet of water, letting it burn her skin. Twenty minutes later she stepped out and towelled herself off, dried her hair and brushed it but left it hanging loose. She took the t-shirt and pulled it over her head, and then picked up the shirt, buttoned it up and tied the arms round her waist, turning it into a knee length skirt, she was pleased with her make-shirt outfit and returned to the main room. By the time she was out, Jess had woken and was making breakfast, the smell of bacon, eggs, toast, sausages and coffee filled the air, along with the pancakes that he was currently cooking, and suddenly Rory thought about how disappointed her mom would be, if she knew that she hadn't been eating since the accident. As Jess looked over at her with a smirk as he took in her outfit, she offered him a weak smile and sat at the table.

'I like the look.' Jess said placing a plate of food in front of her, watching her carefully to make sure that she ate it, though he kept busy pouring her coffee so she wouldn't know he was watching.

'Thanks.' Rory said taking a bite of her pancakes, they tasted so good but she just kept thinking it wasn't right, she should be sat down in the diner with her mom eating this, getting ready to go shopping and making summer plans. 'Where's Luke?'

'He said he had an appointment.'

'Oh…'

'I don't know where.' Jess said sitting down opposite her. 'You staying in today?'

She nodded her head in response. He'd figured as much, and he also knew that before long there would be a line of visitors for her.

'Seeing anyone?'

'No!' Her eyes went wide and she shook her head.

'Ok I'll keep them all away.' Jess said calmingly, she nodded her head slowly.

'You can stay…I mean if you want.' Rory said quietly, and Jess understood. This was Rory's safe place, she felt protected here and she didn't want anyone besides herself, him and Luke entering, it would shatter the bubble for her.

'I'll stay then.' Jess said. 'If you eat your breakfast.'

'I want too but…'

'You don't need to feel guilty Rory, she wouldn't have wanted that.' Jess said quietly, and then it was ok, he'd said exactly what she needed to hear, it was almost as though he was giving her permission to eat the food. She nodded again and started to eat. Jess relaxed a little.

(%)

Luke entered the apartment and found the two teenagers sat on the couch together, the curtains had been opened and the windows were pushed open letting in the summer air. Both Rory and Jess were reading books, Rory had her head rested on Jess' lap and Luke knew that being here was a comfort for her. They hadn't noticed him enter so he cleared his throat, Rory moved her book and looked over at him, sitting up as though she was embarrassed to be found so cosy with Jess. Feeling guilty that she was acting as though nothing had happened, but she shrugged it off, knowing neither Jess or Luke would see it that way, they'd know she was just trying to cope.

'I need to talk to you both.' Luke said sitting at the table, his tone was serious and the two younger ones looked at one another, Jess was first to move going over and sitting at the table, Rory followed slowly sitting next to Jess.

'Is this about the appointment you had?' Jess asked.

'Yes.' Luke nodded.

'Was it…a doctors appointment? You're not sick are you?' Rory felt panic sweep through her, she'd just lost her mother, she couldn't cope if she lost her father figure as well.

'No, no I'm fine.' Luke reassured her. 'I was called in to see a lawyer,'

'Oh?' Rory looked at him in confusion.

'You're mother left me something in her will.' Luke said swallowing hard.

'She did? What'd she leave you?' Rory asked.

'The house, and her savings…' Luke said quietly. 'With the condition that I put the money into a trust fund for you…and she…'

'What Luke?' Rory asked.

'Uh…she…left me you.' Luke replied.

'Wh…what? How…I mean…' Rory couldn't think straight, her mind was spinning.

'Your father agreed that in the case of her….death….he'd allow her to pick a guardian for you, he was there today and he'd assumed that she'd choose either himself of your grandparents…but she made it clear in the will, she wanted me to take care of you…goodness knows why.' Luke shook his head, 'But if you want to live with us then you can, we can all move into your house, or if you'd prefer we could sell it and get a new house…or rent it out and find somewhere else to live if you don't want to get rid of the house….it's your choice and there's no rush.' Luke explained. 'And there was this.' He handed Rory a letter that was addressed to her in her mothers handwriting, tears sprung to her eyes as she took the envelope and held it gently.

'I'm just going to…' She pointed to the door and Jess and Luke nodded their understanding, she headed out onto the stairs and sat down at the top, carefully opening the envelope.

_My Darling Rory,_

_So, Luke? Yeah you may be wondering if I'd lost my mind, I guess you're head is a little muddled trying to work out what's going on. Though I guess if you're reading this you're thinking more than just my sanity. _

_Honey I never wanted you to read this, I was hoping that when I died you'd been old and wouldn't need a guardian, but the best laid plans never work out. _

_So listen I don't want you to be sad, it'll sound stupid to you at the moment, but I want you to live your life, I don't want you to stand still and forget all your plans because I'm gone. I love you too much to expect that kind of devotion, although I do deserve a little devotion don't you think…did I get a smile? I hope I did._

_Anyway I digress, back to Luke, you probably thought you'd go and live with your dad right, or your grandparents. Perhaps you hadn't even thought about it, but you're smart so you've probably given it at least a fleeting thought, and now you have this news and you find out that your crazy mother has left you to the diner owner. Let me tell you why, your father isn't a father…ok that's stupid he's obviously you're father but he isn't father material, otherwise when I spoke to him about who would get you in the event of my death, he would have said I was stupid and of course he'd take you, but he didn't, he told me I could pick, and that told me all I needed to know. He loves you kid, but he didn't know how to raise you. As for your grandparents well, I knew you'd want to stay in stars hollow, and I knew that they'd drive you crazy. So you're probably wondering why I didn't pick Sookie, or Mrs Kim, or one of the other hundred people in that town who would be more than willing you take you in. Well here's the thing kid, I love you enough to know that you'd be best off with Luke, he's the father you always deserved, he loves you like he's your real father and he'd do anything to protect you, he also cooks really good food, oh and he makes coffee. Besides that he's the person I trust most in this world, I know I can always rely on him to do what's right, I know he'll always be there, and I love him. Boy I never thought I'd write that, there it is though, maybe I won't die young and I'll get the courage to tell him that, if not I've written him a letter as well and I told him, he deserves to know. I hope you understand my reasons, besides that I have one other reason, in the form of a sarcastic, annoying, jaded, bad tempered seventeen year old nephew that Luke has, that's right I'm writing this after he's got to town, you probably though I'd written this when you were really little, which is true, I've known I wanted to leave you with Luke for a long time, but I update the letters each year, morbid? I suppose, but I eat tonnes of candy while I do it to balance it out, and then I watch a comedy. _

_Anyway back to Jess, I know you'll need someone to lean on right now, and however much I hate to admit it, Jess is going to be that person for you, he gets you babes, more than anyone else so he'll know how to help you, let him in, but don't forget you have a wonderful boyfriend, don't push Dean away, he may not be able to comfort you like Jess can, but he's doing his best, and as for the town, they love you and when you're ready they'll be there waiting with open arms. _

_I love you baby, and I'm so sorry if I've left you before you're grown, if you get this letter then I never saw you graduate high school, or college, I never saw you get married and have kids, but baby believe me you'll be ok. I'll always love you, you're going to do great things and I know one day your name will be in print._

_Before I put this letter away there's one other thing I want to say. It's about the house, what you do with it is entirely your choice, I know Luke will agree with that, but honey don't be scared to go back there, remember that memories are in your head, so even if you hide away all the stuff that reminds you of me, you'll not forget me, so don't make yourself miserable, remember all the good stuff, and there was a lot, and please baby girl remember to smile and laugh, don't feel guilty to be happy._

_I love you always,_

_The best mom in the world : )_

_Xxx_

Rory gripped the paper tightly and cried, the letter was so Lorelai, filled with serious stuff but mixed in with jokes to make her laugh. Rory's whole body shook with sobs as she tucked the letter, written on hello kitty stationary, into it's envelope and laid it beside her.

After about fifteen minutes, Rory stood up with the envelope in her hand and brush the dust off her makeshift skirt, she wiped her eyes and stepped back inside the apartment. Jess and Luke looked up at her tear stained face with concern.

'Can we go to the house?' She asked quietly. Luke just nodded in response and the three of them left the apartment.

A/N- Ok so it's different from my other fics but I hope you like it, please review and let me know what you all think. xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- For Kassandra27 who just left me around 75 reviews : ) And for everyone else who reads and reviews my stories, I really appreciate your feedback, keep it coming.

Just as a warning, this fanfic is going to be full of drama, and the characters will most likely be OOC often.

Set at the start of the summer Rory was in Washington, only she never kissed Jess and something else stopped her going to Washington.

Broken Hears and Shattered Lives

Chapter Two: Midnights Coming

Rory's hands shook as she lifted the key to the lock, she hadn't been back to the house since the morning before Lorelai's car had been hit, and now it seemed so strange to be here without her, knowing that they'd never sit on the couch and have movie night again, they'd never sit at the kitchen table eating masses of junk food while Lorelai pretended to help her study. Yet she knew that she'd push the door open and everything would be the same, nothing would have moved, the pizza box would still be on the floor. Lorelai's shoes would be scattered around the place, her green cord jacket would be laying on the couch, and her pictures would be all around the walls and coffee tables. Because a house couldn't know that Lorelai wouldn't ever come back, wouldn't ever wear the jacket again and couldn't tidy away her shoes.

Jess' hand rested on hers and the shaking calmed, she took a deep breath knowing now that it was ok, she could do it because she wasn't alone. She pushed the key into the lock and turned it, opening the door slowly and stepping into the hall. Tears filled her eyes and Jess tightened his grip, his silence was a comfort, he knew she needed time to let it all sink in. Luke stayed behind them a little, knowing better than to interrupt them.

'It's so quiet.' Rory said hugging herself as if it were cold, although the house was warmer than it should have been, because all the windows had been shut for days. Rory walked into the kitchen and opened the door to her room.

'Did you want to change into some of your own clothes?' Luke asked.

'No, I like this.' Rory said lightly, just then there was a knock at the back door. 'I don't want to see anyone.'

'It's ok I'll deal with them.' Jess promised going over and opening the door. As he opened it Lane stood there, a mixture of grief and concern on her face.

'Oh…I thought Rory would be here, is she here? Why are you here?' Lane asked.

'Me and Luke are sort of…taking care of Rory.' Jess replied not sure how to word it.

'Oh, how is she?' Lane asked.

'As well as can be expected I guess.' Jess shrugged rubbing his hand across his eyes. 'She doesn't want to see anyone.'

'Then why are you here?' Lane said defensively. 'Babette said Rory stayed with you guys last night, and that she was wearing some weird outfit made out of your clothes today.'

'Jeez you can't move an inch in this town without it being broadcasted.' Jess snapped.

'So it's true.'

'Yeah it's true but Rory still doesn't want to see anyone, and before you say it again, I'm here because Rory's ok with it.' Jess said. 'She needs space.'

'Ok I get that.' Lane backed off, 'Just tell her I was here.'

'I will.' Jess agreed shutting the door again.

'Who was it?' Rory asked coming back out from her room carrying a pile of blankets and some pillows.

'Lane.'

'Oh.'

'Did you want to see her?' Jess asked. 'I could go after her.'

'No, I'm not ready.' Rory replied a little unsure. 'So…I think I want to stay here, I think my mom would have wanted me to stay here…but, there are only two bedrooms.'

'I can stay at the diner alone, it's no big deal.' Jess shrugged.

'I'd prefer you to stay with us.' Rory said remembering what was written in the letter, her mom had told her to let him in, only she didn't need convincing, she needed him and she was willing to admit that to herself.

'Ok, whatever you want. I'll take the couch.' Jess replied.

'That's ok for a short term thing, but trust me it's not that comfortable and if we're all going to live here…then it's got to be our home, not just my home that you're staying in, so I want you guys to bring your stuff here and…I was thinking we could build an extension the other side of the kitchen, like a sort of mirror of my room, for Jess. I mean if we have the money, I could get a job or something to help pay for it and then you'd have your own room, and Luke you can have my moms room, I mean unless that would be weird, because if it is then I guess I could…only all my things are down here, and then there's moms things, I need to go through them and sort it all out, and we'll decorate and it'll be different…but that's a good thing I think and then we'd need….' Rory rambled on until Jess walked over and wrapped his arms around her, she stopped talking and broke down in his arms.

'It's going to be ok.' He held her tightly and let her cry, while Luke stood by not knowing what to do, it soon dawned on him that Rory didn't need him to do anything, she didn't need cheering up, he realised that Jess already knew what she needed, she just needed to cry and he was letting her do that.

'We'll figure it all out.' Jess whispered and she nodded her head.

'I really do want you guys to live here.' Rory said honestly.

'Then we'll build the extension, if that's what you want. Don't worry about the money.' Luke replied.

'I feel bad making you spend your money, I mean me and Jess are off to college next year.' Rory said deliberately ignoring the look Jess gave her when she mentioned him going to college.

'Yeah, but you'll both need a room when you come home in holidays, this is your home Rory, and now it's going to be Jess' as well, you'll both always be welcome here when you've moved out…that's if you want to keep the house after your 18, and if you still want us here.' Luke replied.

'Of course I will, I meant it when I said I wanted you guys here. This is your home, I think mom knew that you'd live here someday. She had a dream once that she was married to you.' Rory laughed slightly.

'Really?' Luke looked at her in surprise, trying to hold back his own tears.

'Yeah, and you guys were having twins. Deep down she loved you and wanted you to live here with us. I think we were always meant to be a family.' Rory replied sadly.

'You mean I'd be like your…brother? Or would it be Cousin?' Jess asked with a raised eyebrow. 'What role did I play in this quasi-family?'

'I don't know, but definitely not brother, or cousin…that would be weird.' Rory replied walking away. Jess smiled slightly at her answer.

'Where are you going?' Luke asked.

'I'm going to sit up in my mom's room for a while, get it ready for you.' Rory said shakily.

'Will you be alright?' Luke asked. 'We could come up.'

'No…I need to do this alone, but thank you Luke.' Rory smiled.

'Ok well then I have some things to sort out, your uh…grandparents wanted to see me.' Luke said uncomfortably.

'Poor you.' Rory said weakly as Luke left. 'Oh wait Luke.' She ran back down the steps and caught up with him on the porch, bending down she picked up the spare key from under the turtle and handed it to him. 'You'll be needing this, now that it's your house too and could you get one cut for Jess, while you're in Hartford.

'Of course.' Luke leaned in and hugged the broken girl, kissing her forehead. 'You'll be ok?'

'Yeah, Jess is here if I need someone.'

'Ok. I won't be long.' Luke said walking away and getting into his truck. Rory took a deep breath and went back into the house.

'I'll be upstairs then.' Rory said quietly, her face was full of pain and Jess knew she was dreading entering her mothers room. Of all the places in the house, that would be the one full of the most reminders.

'If it's too soon Luke won't mind, he'll take the couch and I can take the floor.' Jess said comfortingly.

'No it's fine.' He could tell she was lying but didn't call her out on it, knowing it was best to let her do this her own way. So he simply nodded and sat on the couch, showing her that he'd be here if she needed him.

Rory made the short walk up the stairs and stopped outside her mothers room, memories flooded back to her of all the times they'd spent here, laughing and joking. Lorelai reluctantly waking up early to go to work, them sitting up late with cups of coffee on the bed, just talking. Slowly she pushed the door open and her eyes filled with tears. It all felt so unreal that her mother would never wear these clothes again, never sleep in this bed, and never apply her make-up in the mirror. The anger swept through her faster than she could handle, and before she knew it she was crying as she pulled clothes from the closet, throwing them across the room. She pulled at the bedding and tossed it aside. It all felt so unfair! Her mother was gone, and she wouldn't ever be able to change that. Again the need to feel something other than grief swept over Rory, and in an instant she looked at her tear stained face in the mirror, then lashing out her fist made contact with the glass. The mirror shattered to the floor, splintering into small shards as it fell. Rory yelled out in pain, as blood started to appear on her hand.

Jess was up the stairs in a matter of seconds and saw he sobbing on a heap of clothes on the floor, holding her cut hand. He looked at her with concern but didn't say anything, he went to the bathroom and pulled out a hand towel, bringing it back to her he sat down and held her hand, gently wrapping it in the towel and hold her close to him.

'I can't do this…I don't want to feel this way.' Rory cried.

'I know.' Jess rocked her slowly. 'But you know hurting yourself isn't going to solve anything.'

'I can't help it, it's like I just lose control of myself.' Rory sobbed holding onto him tightly. 'Please don't tell anyone…I couldn't cope with it…'

'I won't. Now go and lay down and don't argue, I'll clean this up.' Jess offered.

'I don't want to throw her things out…could you just put them in the garage?' Rory asked still in tears.

'Of course, whatever you want.' Jess replied.

'I think I'll lay down in here. Keep you company.' Rory said weakly, getting to her feet and going over to her mom's bed. She was withdrawing into herself again, shutting herself down. She looked numb as she climbed onto the bed and pulled the covers over herself despite the heat. He knew she was struggling and he only wished there was more he could do.

Jess was tentative at first, taking each piece of clothing and each item carefully, and placing them inside a box with care, but before long he noticed that having the process drawn out was hurting Rory, the grief stricken look on her face was almost more than he could stand. So he sped up and got the room cleared of all of Lorelai's things, as he returned from putting the last box in the garage he looked at her carefully. She was sat upright, holding the duvet to her tightly, her eyes scanned the room and tears welled up in her blue eyes. He worried that it was too soon to erase her mothers things from view, but Rory stood up and walked to his side, kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear.

'Thank you.' Then she headed down the stairs. She froze as the front door was knocked, Jess was behind her on the stairs.

'Rory it's me.' Dean's voice floated through the door.

'Do you want me to send him away?' Jess asked, Rory was about to nod when she remembered her mothers letter, she'd said not to push Dean away and Rory didn't want to disobey the words her mother had written down for her, so she shook her head and reluctantly opened the door. Jess disappeared upstairs, trying not to let his disappointment fill him too much.

'Hey babe.' Dean leaned in and tried to kiss her but she pulled away, it was too soon for her to kiss him, it felt wrong to be acting all in love when she was grieving. 'How are you?'

'I don't know.' Rory replied, she could see his response written in his eyes, he was itching to ask her how she couldn't know, but something stopped him saying it, no doubt it was the back off look she was giving him, before she walked away and sat on the couch. Dean hesitated before following her and sitting too close, he took her hand and she had to resist pulling it away. Dean's gaze fell onto her other hand, which was still wrapped in the towel.

'What happened?' Dean asked nodding to the hand she'd forgotten she'd injured, the only pain she felt was for her mother, her own physical pain was nothing in comparison and fleetingly she wished she could feel it more.

'I dropped a mirror.' Rory shrugged, pulling her hand away from his and holding her knees to her chest.

'What are you wearing?' Dean asked looking down at her strange outfit.

'Jess lent me some things.' Rory replied wondering why Dean was making chitchat, surely he knew that wouldn't help her in any way.

'Oh, I didn't realise you were hanging out with him.' Dean said awkwardly.

'I'm not hanging out with anyone.' Rory replied staring straight ahead. 'Jess and Luke are living here now.'

'They're what?' Dean stared at her in confusion but she kept her gaze fixed on the wall above the television screen, blinking back the tears.

'My mom gave Luke full custody of me.' Rory explained. 'So we all live here now.'

'I don't believe it.' She clenched his fists but kept his voice quietly. 'So…are you ok?'

'Dean..'

'I know you're not, how could you be but I mean you're doing ok right?' Dean asked. Rory just looked at him blankly, how could she answer that, was she doing alright? What was alright when you've just lost your mother, your best friend, who was to define what normal was for her now. How could she tell him that she'd jumped into a lake, and punched a mirror, he wouldn't have understood her reasons, he wouldn't get it.

'I'm still breathing.' She replied simply then returned her gaze to the wall.

'Yeah.' Dean nodded, struggling for something else to say. 'So you and Jess…living together, hanging out everyday.'

'Jeez Dean! I'm not hanging out with anyone, I'm not going round hanging out with Jess, we don't go to the cinema, we don't play games and go shopping or whatever, my mom just died! You want to know what we've been doing? I've been crying…not hanging out, just crying and thinking about how I'm never going to be ok again, how can you not see that! I don't want to sit here and just talk, I don't want to act like everything is normal.' Rory yelled getting to her feet. 'I can't do this right now, could you just go…please…I can't.' Rory fled up the stairs and straight into Jess' arms. He held her as she cried.

'He doesn't get it, he just sat there making small talk, asking me about you living here…he doesn't get any of it.' Rory sobbed. Jess held her closely as she fell to pieces in front of his eyes.

'Shh…He's gone ok, he's gone and you don't have to hide anything from me, I get it, I do.' Jess soothed.

'I don't want to feel this, I want to forget.' Rory cried and he knew she was fighting the urge to do something destructive again, his grip tightened on her and she was grateful for his understanding. 'Why do I feel like this…this isn't normal.'

'Everyone grieves in their own way, but I'm here for whatever you need.' Jess replied. Rory buried her head against his chest and let him calm her down, they were sat on the edge of Lorelai's bed and soon she drifted to sleep. He knew she wouldn't want to wake up in her mom's bed, so her picked her up and carried her to her own room, laying her gently on the bed. Once she was safely tucked up, he got the first aid kit and bandaged her hand properly. As he finished up and left her room, Luke entered through the front door looking tired. He came into the kitchen and sat at the table with Jess.

'Where's Rory?' Luke asked distantly.

'She's just gone to sleep.' Jess replied. 'She cut her hand, but it's ok now.'

'How?'

'She dropped a mirror.' Jess lied.

'Besides the hand how's she coping?' Luke asked.

'She's a shell of who she used to be, sometimes she just stares into space like she's hollow, sometimes she's angry and shouts, sometimes she just needs to cry. This afternoon she went through all three.' Jess replied.

'She was angry? She yelled at you?'

'No, she cried in my arms.' Jess replied. 'She yelled at Dean.'

'Oh.' Luke nodded his head.

'The rooms ready for you, all of Lorelai's things are in the garage.' Jess knew that hearing her name hurt Luke, but he also knew that his uncle needed to know the room was clear.

'Are you sure Rory's ok with this?'

'I think in a way she needs it, us being here helps her, and having Lorelai's room cleaned is sort of…I don't know helping her.' Jess moved from the chair and went over to her door, opening it slightly to make sure she was still asleep.

'I'm going to head back to the apartment, pack up some things we may need.' Jess replied with slight reluctance in his voice. 'If she wakes up…'

'Don't worry I'll look out for her, I am meant to be her guardian, not you remember.' Luke replied.

'I know it's just…'

'If she asks for you then I'll call you.' Luke promised. Jess nodded his head and made his way out of the house.

(&)

Rory came out of her room twenty minutes after Jess had left, Luke was sat at the kitchen table, he glanced up as she entered and offered her a weak smile. She didn't return it, but simply sat down next to him indicating she was pleased he was here.

'You didn't sleep for long.' Luke said not really knowing what else there was to say.

'No I…had a dream about mom.' Rory replied looking around her.

'Jess went to get some things from the apartment.' Luke answered the question that was written in her eyes, she nodded slowly. The concern was evident on her face, and although Luke didn't understand why Jess being gone was making her anxious, he knew that was the reason.

Rory was simply worried because she knew Jess was the only one who knew she kept losing it, kept doing things that were dangerous, he was the only one who understood she couldn't control it. Now that he wasn't around she was scared that she'd have another turn and he wouldn't be there to help her, but she also knew she wasn't ready to trust anyone else with her self destructive habits. Besides she told herself, what harm could she inflict on herself, she was just sat with Luke in her kitchen, and she felt safe in his presence, it was when she was alone that her mind was free to control her. When it was silent she couldn't contain her grief, and there was no Jess to hold her and comfort her, so she found herself looking for escape.

Rory all but flew into Jess' arms when he returned. She was by his side within seconds, helping him bring in the bags. Sticking close to his side, as if she was worried that if she moved away from him, he'd disappear or her grief would overwhelm her again. Jess sensed her nervousness and placed a reassuring hand on her arm. Leaning close to her.

'It's ok I'm back.' He whispered and she smiled slightly, though her eyes were still full of sadness.

A/N- Reviews make me write more. I value your feedback more than you know. I hope you take the time to review.


	3. Sleep to Dream

A/N- Thank you for all the reviews, keep them coming.

Broken Hears and Shattered Lives

Chapter Three: Sleep to Dream

Rory's eyes fluttered open and for a moment she couldn't work out where she was, the sunlight was streaming through a window which had been left open, the day was already warming up though she could tell it wasn't late. She'd slept, that much was evident and she'd slept the whole night through without any bad dreams, slowly she sat up and realised she was in the lounge, she'd fallen asleep on the couch last night while watching movies with Jess, who was currently sleeping on the floor. She smiled lightly and walked to the kitchen to make coffee, coming back with two mugs and sitting cross legged in front of Jess, she drank hers while watching him sleep. Soon the smell of the coffee woke him, and he sat up and looked at her, reaching out and moving a strand of her hair behind her ear, his fingertips brushed her cheek and she looked down at her hands, which were clasped tightly round her coffee cup.

'You're up early.' Jess said taking his own coffee from the coffee table.

'Hmm, I slept well though.' Rory replied. 'I want to see Lane today, will you walk me over?'

'Yeah of course.' Jess nodded, thrilled that she was ready to leave the house, it had been two weeks since the funeral, and she'd not stepped out of the house once, she only spoke to him and Luke, and she'd still been doing stupid things to make herself feel more than grief, this was a good sign, even if she wasn't willing to go alone yet, he knew that her reliance on him was simply because he understood her.

'I'm sorry about being such a nuisance lately.' Rory replied stretching her legs out in front of herself on the floor.

'You could never be a nuisance to me.' Jess replied honestly. 'Though I'd appreciate it if you'd stop trying to hurt yourself.'

'I know…' Rory looked down at the floor and was about to speak again when Luke came down.

'Oh you're both up, what are you talking about?' Luke asked.

'Nothing.' They both replied together, Rory laughed a little then stood up, her empty coffee cup in hand.

'I'm going to get dressed.' She said reaching down and taking a sip of Jess' coffee before handing his cup back and going to her room.

'She seems better today.' Luke pointed out.

'Yeah, I'm taking her to see Lane in a little while.' Jess replied. 'I think she's doing better.'

'That's good, only…'

'Only what?' Jess said slightly uneasy.

'Only…don't let her rely on you too much, these past two weeks she's been with you constantly, she falls to pieces and looks almost scared when you're out somewhere, she needs to stand on her own to feet, for now it's ok, while everything is still so fresh for her and she's still dealing with her mothers…' Luke choked up. 'But don't let her get too close.'

'She needs me now, I'm not going to push her away.' Jess shook his head. 'I can explain it to you but…I need to be with her as much as I can, I need to make sure she's ok.'

'I'm ready to go.' Rory reappeared, ending their conversation. Jess smiled at her and they walked out of the house, him not bothering to change his clothes from the day before. Outside it was hot and Rory wanted to run back inside, hide somewhere that wasn't so sunny, it didn't seem right that she was out in the summer sunshine without her mom, it felt like it should be raining and grey clouds forever, but instead of turning back she reached out and took Jess' hand, then led him the longer route to Lanes, avoiding the hotspots for all the town gossips, eventually arriving at Lanes and climbing through the window, Jess in tow.

'Rory!' Lane jumped up from her bed and wrapped her friend in a hug. 'I've missed you.'

'Yeah, I missed you.' Rory said quietly. 'Um…sorry I've been out of contact.'

'That's ok.' Lane said not really knowing what to say, she turned to Jess. 'You're lucky mama is out or she'd kill you for being in my room.

'Sorry I asked him to come.' Rory replied.

'It's ok.' Lane reassured her, 'So…how are you?'

'Can we not talk about me…how are you? What have you been up to?'

'I'm fine, just school but it's hard to keep up…we all miss her.'

'Yeah.' Rory turned around and looked at the desk, pictures of her and Lane littered the desk, she saw one of the two of them with Lorelai and tears sprung to her eyes.

'Rory?' Lane stepped forward.

'I'm fine, I just…I'm going to use your bathroom.' Rory left the room, leaving Lane and Jess standing awkwardly.

'Has she had any visitors?' Lane asked.

'People come by everyday, they bring gifts, food, books, she won't let anyone see her.' Jess replied.

'What about Dean? He told me they'd had a fight.' Lane said.

'She was in a really bad place that day.' Jess said darkly. 'He's been round everyday, more than once, if I wasn't already sick of him this would be a really good way for him to make me hate him.'

'He cares about her.'

'Then he should realise she can't see him right now, he should respect the fact that she needs to be alone.' Jess replied.

'From what I hear you're never far from her.'

'Yeah, well that's complicated.'

'Explain it to me.' Lane insisted.

'Rory's not handling this well, as you can expect.' Jess said. 'She needs someone with her.'

'She's grieving, she doesn't need a babysitter.' Lane replied. 'I know you're only trying to help her, but back off a little, let her deal with this alone.'

'She's taking a while.'

'Don't change the subject, she's a big girl she can be on her own, she's only been in there just over five minutes.' Lane snapped.

'I'm going to check on her.' Jess stormed out with an annoyed Lane in tow.

'Jess stop it, maybe she needs time on her own, just leave her alone.'

'I can't!' Jess yelled knocking on the locked bathroom door.

'Yes you can, why don't you leave and I can hang out with Rory today.' Lane suggested.

'Rory? Rory open the door.' Jess said ignoring Lane.

'Jess stop it, she's fine!' Lane snapped.

'Shut up Lane.' Jess yelled banging on the door harder. 'Rory come on open the door, it's ok.' He heard the lock slip out of place and opened the door, Rory was sat huddled on the floor, her knees held to her chest as she sobbed. Jess immediately dropped to him knees beside her and started checking her over.

'Rory? Come on let's get you to my room, we can talk.' Lane said quietly. 'Jess what are you doing.'

Jess didn't respond, instead he looked at her arm to make sure she wasn't hurt, checked the rest of her over quickly, he couldn't see any sign of bruising or cuts but he was still worried.

'Rory, what did you do?' Jess asked.

'What makes you think she's done something, Jess she's upset just let her cry.' Lane snapped.

'Rory?' He said quietly and she lifted up a bottle she'd hid behind the sink.

'Mama's sleeping pills?' Lane looked at her confused.

'How many?' Jess asked dropping his head. Rory just cried harder and put her arms round him, he held her closely.

'Lane call 911.' Jess instructed.

'No! Please Jess no!' Rory screamed clinging tightly to him.

'What's she done, is she trying to kill herself?' Lane was crying by this point, on the floor beside them.

'No she's not, she's just…trying to forget what happened, she's trying to feel something other than loss.' Jess explained.

'She's done this before?' Lane asked.

'I can't talk now, if she won't let us call an ambulance then get me some salt water, lots of it we need her to throw up what she's taken.' Jess replied, Lane ran off to do as he was told.

'I didn't take many, I only took enough to sleep.' Rory said falling against him.

'How many Rory? These are strong and taking them is dangerous, adults are only meant to take one, so how many?'

'Four I think, I'm so sorry Jess I wasn't thinking….I saw the picture of my mom and I just wanted to sleep, to forget it.' Rory said sleepily.

'Stay awake Rory.' He shook her slightly.

'I'm so sorry.' Rory said sadly. 'You're so good and kind and sweet, you know I need you right,' Rory laughed.

'You're out of it.' Jess shook his head.

'Take care of me.' Rory said quietly as Lane reappeared.

'Drink this.' Jess insisted, fighting with the now loopy half asleep Rory to get her to drink the water until she threw up, he held her hair back until she was finished and then gave her some unsalted water to drink.

'Will she be ok?' Lane asked.

'She'll be fine when she wakes up.' Jess said once he'd carried her to the bed and she'd fallen asleep, he sunk down onto the floor and buried his head in his hands.

'So…she's done stuff like this before?' Lane asked sitting cross legged in front of him. 'Tell me.'

'Well…' He glanced at the bed to make sure she was asleep before continuing. 'The day of the funeral she jumped into the lake, since then she's smashed a mirror and cut her hand, got drunk two times, and the other day she was making dinner, I left for a few minutes and when I got back she was about to put her hand through the flame.'

'So she uses pain to what…? Hide the grief, mask it?' Lane questioned.

'She does things to feel the thrill, or to forget, sometimes it's just to feel something. She's angry and scared, she doesn't think about what she's doing, which is why I'm always around her.'

'Because she feels safe with you.' Lane nodded. 'I'm sorry I was so hard on you.'

'I keep thinking I should tell Luke, I shouldn't keep hiding this but I'm worried that if I do then she'll push me away as well.'

'I agree, it's best to keep her onside at the moment. I've never seen her like this, it's almost like she rebelling, but against what or who I don't know?'

'Her own life…without Lorelai, she doesn't want to be the same person anymore and so she's acting out.' Jess suggested.

'So how did you know how to deal with that in there, I mean she overdosed and you knew what to do.' Lane said sounding slightly impressed.

'Liz, my mother…she had a habit of getting drunk, taking things…we never had a phone so I just…learnt to deal with it.' Jess replied.

'I had no idea…' Lane looked away awkwardly.

'Nobody did…besides Rory.' Jess replied.

'I'm sorry.'

'It's not your fault.' Jess replied his walls coming back up and his defensiveness returning.

'It must have been tough.' Lane said sympathetically, she considered her life with mama Kim to be tough, but it was nothing compared to what Jess had been through. She shook her head slowly.

'I don't want to talk about it.' He snapped back, showing signs of the Jess that Lane knew all too well, the one that nobody in town, besides Rory, could ever see the good in.

'Fine, what shall we talk about?' Lane asked.

'How about we sit in silence.' Jess replied dropping his head into his hands.

'Fine!' Lane gave up and started pacing the room.

'That's distracting.' Jess complained.

'Distracting from what? You're watching Rory sleep.' Lane replied.

'I'm trying to work out if I should tell Luke how Rory's been acting.' Jess replied.

'No!' Lane shouted then looked cautiously at Rory as she stirred in the bed, but to both of their relief she just turned and went back to sleep. Lane let out a breath and lowered her voice. 'If you tell him then he'll make a big deal out of it, he'll want to send her to some psychiatrist or something, it'll make her worse.' Lane said sitting down on her desk chair.

'But what if Rory does something more serious, we've proven that I can't watch her every second of the day and night, she's going to get hurt and I'd never forgive myself if something happened to her.' Jess replied shaking his head. 'At first I thought she'd just stop…I thought it was just a phase, but she'd been doing this stuff to much.'

'But don't you understand why? She wants to forget her grief, she lost her mother and I know you don't know what that feels like, nobody could because nobody had a relationship like theirs, she's not trying to hurt herself, she just isn't thinking straight and needs the adrenaline.' Lane replied.

'And if she pushes it too far? You said yourself that she's not thinking straight.' Jess replied.

'We'll just both watch her more carefully. It'll get easier, she'll gradually stop acting out.' Lane reasoned, 'Trust me I'm her best friend and we shouldn't tell anyone, at least not now.'

Reluctantly Jess agreed and they sat in silence until Rory woke up.

'Jess? Jess?' Rory's voice was quiet as she woke and sat herself up in the bed, Jess got up and walked over to her, sitting besides her on the bed. 'I'm so sorry.' She cried against his shoulder.

'It's ok, just don't ever scare me like that again.' Jess reprimanded lightly, while Lane hovered in the background.

'I didn't mean to take them, they were just there and I thought they'd help me sleep. I'm such a mess.' Rory hugged her knees to her chest.

'You'll be ok.' Jess said trying to contain his anger at her acting out, he knew that she couldn't control it and that was the only thing that was keeping him calm.

'Can we go home?' Rory asked standing up and taking his hand.

'Sure.' He nodded.

'Lane,' Rory spun around to face her friend, 'I'm really sorry for all the drama.'

'It's ok, I understand.' Lane replied and watched them go.

A/N- Please review.


	4. One More For The Road

A/N- Thank you for all the reviews, keep them coming.

Broken Hearts and Shattered Lives

Chapter Four: One more for the road

A week had passed since the incident at Lane's house, Jess became more and more attentive of Rory each day, and Luke became more and more worried at their growing attachment, not understanding why Rory was pushing everyone away, but pulling Jess closer, and so in an attempt to lessen her withdrawal from the town, he'd invited Sookie, Jackson, Dean and Lane over to the house, only Lane had declined, after being grounded by Mrs Kim for coming home late.

Rory walked out of her room, Jess' baggy clash t-shirt over a pair of denim shorts, a book in one hand, she stopped short as she noticed Luke sitting with the guests.

'What's going on?' Rory asked faintly, colour draining from her features as she remained in the doorway between the kitchen and lounge.

'I thought you could do with some company.' Luke explains, patting the seat between himself and Dean, she edges forward slightly, looking around to see if she can spot Jess in the room, he's nowhere in sight.

'Where's Jess?' She asks, noticing the annoyance flash on her boyfriends face, but disregarding it.

'He's upstairs, looking for something in the closet.' Luke replies, Rory briefly wonders if Jess knew anything about this, but dismisses the thought, he would have warned her if he had known.

'Come sit down sweetie, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages, it's been….' Sookie trails off, knowing the last time they saw each other would have been at the funeral, she doesn't know where to look, Jackson takes her hand for support. Rory comes into the room and sits between Luke and Dean, edging slightly closer to Luke unconsciously. The words of her mothers letter repeat themselves, don't push Dean away, and she lets him take her hand.

'How you doing sweets?' It's Sookie who once again speaks, and it's that same question that she's heard a million times, the one she can only answer truthfully in front of Jess.

'I'm fine.' Rory lies, nobody notices.

'You look tired.' Jackson's voice filled the room this time, struggling for something to say to this shell of a girl, who once was so lively.

'Do I?' Rory looks at her shoes, the battered black and white trainers that she's bought just over a year ago with her mom, they'd been out shopping for things for Chilton, and they'd picked these out for PE, though Rory didn't have any notion of doing PE and usually got out of it with a note from her mom.

'Have you been sleeping?' Dean asked squeezing her hand gently, her eyes meet his but look away quickly.

'I suppose so.' She shrugs her shoulders, but in reality the nightmares have been getting worse, most nights she wakes up screaming and Jess comes down to comfort her, they sit up in the lounge watching movies, until gradually as he strokes her hair, she falls into a restless sleep.

'We've been thinking honey,' Sookie again, 'Maybe a change of scenery would do you good, just for a couple of weeks. We were thinking you might like to go on a vacation, somewhere nice, we could all go.'

'What?' She looks at each of them like they're stupid.

'Well it might be good to get away from here, just for a while.' Luke says gently, Rory stands up and back away from them.

'A vacation? Seriously, my mother just died and you want me to go on vacation!' She's yelling now, her voice shaking as tears threaten to fall, everyone is too stunned to get up and calm her down, they remain seated just staring at her. 'I don't need a vacation! That's not going to make anything better! The last trip I took was a road trip with my mom.'

'We're sorry sweetie, we didn't mean to upset you, come and sit down and we'll just forget the idea.' Sookie says desperately.

Rory shakes her head fiercely and picks up the car keys from the side table, ready to bolt for the door, but has second thoughts.

'Jess! Jess?' She yells loudly, gripping the keys so tightly that it's starting to hurt. Jess is down the stairs within seconds and one look at her tells him all he needs to know. He goes up to her, takes her arm and pulls her slightly.

'Let's go.' He says and she follows him outside, her whole body shaking. She gets into the drivers seat despite his protests, and he takes the passenger seat just as the door to the house is thrown open and Dean and Luke appear.

'Rory where are you going?' Dean asks, though it comes out like a demand and Rory starts the car, pulling away quickly before either of them can reach the car. She drives quickly to the highway, staring straight ahead as she goes faster and faster.

'Rory, slow down a bit.' His voice is so soft and kind that she relaxes slightly, and the car slows down, though her grip on the steering wheel doesn't let up, her knuckles are white with the strain. Eventually she pulls off the highway and winds her way round some small roads in the middle of nowhere, until she finds a bar and pulls the car over, getting out and walking inside. Jess sighs deeply and follows her. By the time he's inside she's already downed a shot of vodka and ordered another. He's seen her drink before, and if he's honest it's probably the safest way for her to deal with things, as long as she doesn't take it too far, which he always makes sure she doesn't. He sits next to her and looks over to her.

'You want to talk about it?' Jess asks.

'Nope, I want to drink.' She downs another shot and watches as the amused bartender refills it, obviously having no concern that she's clearly under aged.

'You won't find what you're looking for in the bottom of a bottle.' Jess says dryly.

'I'm not trying to, that's why I'm drinking out of shot glasses.' She downs another, and he sits back and watches as she orders a beer. 'Aren't you drinking?'

'I think you're drinking enough for two.'

'Don't judge me…you drink, I know you do, my mom busted you on it the night we met.' She drunk and slurring her words, and the mention of her mom brings a smile to her face. 'She hated you so much after that night, warned me off you…but I found you so interesting, so charming.' She laughs, 'I still do.'

'That's nice to know.' He watches her carefully, glad she's stopped drinking.

'It's odd because I hardly knew you, so I should have just listened to my mom right, there was no need for me to seek a friendship with you, but I couldn't help it, I couldn't stay away from you, she hated that.' Rory shakes her head and plays with her glass. 'I miss her.'

'I know you do.' he takes her hand and leads her to a booth in the back where it's quieter.

'I miss her so much that it hurts, so badly all the time.' Rory cries harder. 'I already grew up without a father who was ever around, I can't…deal with not having my mom as well, I can't deal with being alone.'

'Rory you'll never be alone, your dad may never have been around, but Luke has.' Jess stops to make sure he's not upsetting her further, she seems calm so he carries on 'He's always been like a father to you, I should know because he's been like a father to me as well.'

'So does that mean I'm like your sister?' Rory laughs, as if this is the funniest thing she's ever heard.

'Jeez, I hope not.' Jess replies and suddenly everything is more serious, she stops laughing and looks at him.

'I think my mom would have liked you now, how you are now, taking care of me.' Rory smiles slightly as she leans back in the booth. 'Do you know what the last thing I said to her was?'

'No, you never told me.'

'As she was leaving I called over to her to bring home some take-out from this new place we'd found, how stupid is that? The last memory of my mom is me asking for take-out and if she hadn't gone there, she'd never of had the accident…If I hadn't asked for it…' Rory broke down.

'Oh Rory you don't seriously blame yourself?' Jess was shocked, he'd never of imagined that Rory could have been carrying around all this weight, this guilt. He reached for her hand but she sprung from her seat and ran to the door. 'Rory?' Jess got up to follow her.

'Oi! You've got a bill to pay.' The bartender yelled, Jess reluctantly walked over and threw a handful of bills at him, overpaying but not waiting for change, he was out the door in seconds but the car was already moving, he ran up to it and jumped in the passenger side, just before she pulled away quickly, winding round the roads at a speed that wasn't safe, she swerved over the lanes, crying as she drove.

'Rory pull over and let me drive, you're drunk.' Jess said firmly.

'I never should have made her get the take-out!'

'It wasn't your fault Rory, you couldn't have known what would happen.' Jess reasoned. 'You guys were always going different places to find the best take-out, it's nothing unusual to ask her to bring some in with her. It wasn't your fault, it was the drunk driver who hit her…Rory?' Jess spoke quietly, realisation dawned on her face, a drunk driver had killed her mother and now she was driving drunk, she was just about to slow down and pull over when headlights blinded her, and the sound of a horn filled the air, she had been swerving across lanes and was currently on the wrong side of the road, she slammed on her breaks but the two cars collided.

'Rory? Rory are you ok?' Jess struggled out of his seatbelt and looked at her, she was awake, a cut on her forehead but other than that she seemed ok, he looked over to the other car, the driver was leaning against the steering wheel, there were other cars approaching in the distance, Rory's eyes widened in shock and panic.

'Oh my…what have I done…I'm so, so sorry…' She cried out the words and Jess felt his heart break for her.

'Switch seats with me.' Jess demanded already moving.

'Wh..what?'

'Switch seats with me before someone see's us.' Jess says firmly.

'Jess no…I can't let you…'

'It's not a request Rory.' He removes her seatbelt and pulls over across to his seat, taking her own just in time as a car pulls up.

Everything happens quickly, people arrive and check out the situation, ambulances are called and they arrive with the Police in tow, the man from the other car is worked on for a while, he sits up and Rory notices the large gash on his head, but is relieved to see him sitting and talking to one of the paramedics.

Jess and herself are checked over and taken to the hospital, the cars are removed from the road. Rory tries to take it all in as she sits in her hospital bed, this is all her fault.

Not long later both Rory and Jess are cleared, and told they can leave the hospital, but before they can leave a policeman comes over to them.

'Jess Mariano?' The policeman asks.

'Yes sir?'

'I've taken a statement from the driver of the other car, he says you were driving dangerously, swerving across lanes and the like, and the man who arrived on the scene and called us identified you as the driver, is this correct?' The man asks. Rory squeezes his hand, begging him not to admit to it but he doesn't look at her.

'Yes sir.' Jess looks down at the floor.

'Then I'm afraid you'll need to come with us.' The policeman handcuffs Jess.

'No! No you can't.' Rory screams grabbing hold of Jess, spotting a panicked Luke walking into the hospital.

'Please miss let go of him, you'll see your boyfriend soon enough.' The man takes Jess away, leading him to the police car outside.

'What's going on?' Luke demands.

'And who are you?' The policeman asks.

'I'm his uncle and her guardian.' Luke answers.

'Your nephew caused an accident due to dangerous driving.' The policeman replied. 'Feel free to follow us to the station where we can discuss this further.'

'Jess no.' Rory begs him, he looks at her with a reassuring glance.

'It's ok Rory, it'll be ok. Luke take her home.' Jess begs his uncle, then is taken to the police station.

'Rory are you ok? Are you hurt?' Luke looks at the bandaged cut on her head.

'It's fine, it looks worse than it is.' Rory replies. 'Come on we need to go and get Jess.'

'I think you ought to go home first.' Luke suggests.

'No! I can't just leave him there, we need to get him out.' Rory yells, tears streaming down her face.

A few hours later Rory, Jess and Luke return home all looking tired as they sit on the couch.

'I'm going out to get some food, can I trust the two of you not to get into anymore trouble?' Luke asks not knowing how to deal with this situation.

'Yes Luke, we're so sorry..' Rory stops talking as Jess sends her a warning gaze, Luke nods and walks out of the house. Rory is immediately at Jess' side, throwing her arms around him.

'Jess I can't let you take the blame, it was my fault I was driving!' Rory sobs. 'Let me tell them the truth.'

'No Rory, you're not going to face court, I won't let that happen. I'll go to this court date and get things straightened out, but you have to promise me you'll not tell anyone the truth.'

'But Jess…'

'No! If you want to make it up to me then stop acting out, just take care of yourself.' Jess says firmly.

'Why would you do this for me?' Rory asks after a few minutes of silence, he doesn't get a chance to answer because Luke returns.

The court date arrives and after much persuasion, Rory manages to persuade Luke and Jess into her going with them. They pull up outside the courthouse and Rory take's Jess's hand as they go inside. Over the past two weeks waiting for the trial, Rory and Jess had grown even closer, very rarely were they ever seen out of each others company, a fact that worried Luke and angered Dean.

'I've reviewed the case Mr Mariano, I have to say it is fortunate that both cars passengers were not seriously hurt, or we might be looking at a harsher sentence, however in light of your past history of shoplifting in New York, it's clear that something needs to be done, therefore I have determined that you will be required to serve 1 month in a juvenile offenders hall, and on completion of this time, you'll be expected to complete 300 hours of community service.' The judge ends the court session, and people fill out into the halls. Rory stands in shock beside Luke, but as Jess is led away she breaks away and throws her arms around him.

'No! No Jess you can't.' Rory holds him closely, he wraps his arms around her and is pleased the guards are letting him say goodbye.

'It's ok, it's just a month and you can come visit me. Promise me you'll visit.' Jess doesn't know what to do, he hadn't expected this, he was expecting community service, not a month in a offenders hall, but he was willing to do this if it meant protecting Rory, she wouldn't have coped with all this.

'I promise, I'll come everyday. Oh Jess I'm so sorry.' She hugs him tighter as the guards say it's time to go.

'It's ok, just don't do anything stupid while I'm away.' He kisses her forehead and then says goodbye to Luke and leaves.

Luke and Rory walk back into their house, Luke sits heavily down on the couch and holds his head in his hands.

'I can't believe he's not here.' Rory's voice shakes as she sits on an armchair.

'He's doing the time for what he did, he shouldn't have been driving dangerously. I should have known he'd do something like this, his mother warned me and after he hurt your arm in the car…he's just paying for what he's done.' Luke says gravely.

'No he's not!' Rory can't bare to hear Luke talk about Jess this way.

'What do you mean?'

'I was driving the car….'

A/N- review please J


	5. Blame

**Broken Hearts, Shattered Lives**

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><p>AN- I just want to offer out a huge apology for taking so long to update this story. I lost my log in details, and have only just found them again now. I just finished reading through this one and I cannot believe where I left it. So I'm going to continue it now and hopefully update regularly. I'd love to hear your thoughts so please review.

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or characters.

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><p>Chapter Five: Blame<p>

'I was driving the car...' Rory says holding back the tears.

'Rory I know you care for Jess but you don't need to try and cover for him, he messed up and he's paying for it now, but you don't have to worry. I'm not going to kick him out when he gets home, I meant it when I told him he'd always have a home here.'

'That's not it.' Rory sighs, though she's pleased to hear that Luke won't expect Jess to leave.

'It won't do anyone any good you trying to take the blame.'

'Luke you have to believe me, I was upset and acting crazy. I was angry and I wasn't thinking straight. I drove to a bar and got drunk, really drunk, and then I ran out. He tried to stop me, but I got into the car and drove off, he only just made it into the car before I pulled away. I was crying and I wasn't paying attention, and then I was going to stop but before I could the accident happened. I was so scared, and Jess just...he told me to switch places with him.'

'Why would he do that?' Luke asks in confusion.

'Because he was protecting me, because he's a good guy, because I was drunk and he was sober.' Rory shrugs, 'I begged him not to do it, I told him that I should be the one taking the blame, but he insisted, he begged me not to tell anyone the truth. I just can't stand that he's in that place because of me, and then you were so disappointed in him and I just can't...' Rory gets up and makes a run for the door.

'Where are you going?' Luke jumps up and follows her onto the porch.

'To the police, I'm going to tell them the truth about what happened, Jess doesn't deserve to be in there.'

'Rory,' Luke says quietly, 'if Jess has taken the blame for you then he must have his reasons, if you go there now they'll just think you're trying to get him out.'

'But it's the truth!'

'I know,' Luke nods his head, 'but I think you have to allow Jess to make his own mind up.'

'But it isn't right, I was the one who crashed the car and yet I'm here and he's there.' Rory cries.

'He knows what he's doing.' Luke pulls her into a hug.

'I don't deserve you being so nice to me, you should yell at me and tell me how disappointed you are in me.' Rory cries against his shoulder.

'I am disappointed, but I also understand so I'm not going to yell. You are however grounded for a month.' He says uncertainty, never having grounded anyone before. 'Does that sound about right?'

'You should probably make it two months.' She offers up weakly.

'Two months,' he nods, 'sure.'

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><p>'Please don't be mad at me.' Rory begs sitting down opposite Jess in the small room set aside for visitors.<p>

'Why would I be mad at you?' Jess asks smiling over at her, he reaches across the white table and takes her hands in his.

'I told Luke.' She says catching his eye, talking again before he can say anything, 'I had to, I wanted to tell everyone.'

'Don't you dare.'

'I won't,' she sighs, 'I hate myself for it but I won't tell.'

'Rory I know you don't get why I'm doing this, or if you do then you don't agree with it, but please just trust me when I say that I know what I'm doing.'

'Ok.'

'So...how are you?' Jess asks.

'Miserable.' Rory admits, 'I miss my mom and I miss you and I'm just messing everything up.'

'You're not messing everything up.' Jess reprimands, she just stares at him and he shrugs his shoulders, 'I didn't say you weren't messing anything up, just not everything.'

'Dean's hardly talking to me.'

'And you thought everything was bad.' He smirks.

'Ha funny.' Rory gives him a half smile.

'So...' He pauses looking at her.

'I haven't done anything stupid.' She reassures him, answering the unasked question she can see written on his face. 'I almost did, the first night you were in here I almost took some pills, but I didn't.'

'Why?'

'Because I didn't want to hurt you more than I already have.' Rory replies. 'I'm trying Jess.'

'I know you are.' He says quietly, 'Keep it up.'

'Yeah.' She nods again, brushing the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. 'So we started work on the extension, Luke's doing a lot of the work and he's hired Tom and a bunch of others, he wants it all ready for when you get out.'

'Still feels weird.'

'What does?'

'Living with you.' He smirks.

'Yeah,' she nods thoughtfully, 'good weird though.'

'Yeah good weird.' He agrees.

'I'm actually finding it weirder not having you in the house, I don't have anyone to fight with about books.' She says with a small smile. 'I miss that.'

'You could try and fight with Luke about books.' Jess smirks, 'I know he doesn't have my charm, and the selection of books to discuss will be severely reduced, but still.'

'It's not the same.' Rory sighs, 'I hate that you're here.'

'It' just a month.'

'It shouldn't be anything at all.'

'Don't start that again, I'm ok here Rory.'

'Are you though, is it ok?'

'I'm a big boy, I can handle this.' He shrugs.

'So...' she looks at him quickly, 'is there anyon...uh anything you miss?' She asks fumbling over her words.

'Well,' he smirks at her in amusement, 'I've been sleeping on a couch so the bed here is actually better, I miss the crazy strong coffee you make, I miss having a big collection of books to choose from, the library in this place is lacking. That's about it.'

'Oh ok.'

'And,' he says after a moment of silence, 'there's this girl.'

'Oh yeah?'

'Smart, loves to read, little bit crazy sometimes but I don't think she'd like me if she weren't.'

'Yeah?'

'I kind of miss her too.'

'Good to know.' Rory says tearfully.

'I'll be out of here before you know it.' He promises.

'Good.' She gives him a small sad smile, 'I should go, Luke wants to come in and see you and I promised I wouldn't be long.'

'Ok.' He nods, 'Hey,' he calls after her as she reaches the door.

'Yeah?'

'Do something for me while I'm in here.'

'Anything.' She promises.

'Read that Hemmingway book I lent you.'

'Uh really?'

'You said anything.'

'Yeah I did,' she grumbles, 'ok I'll read it.'

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><p>AN- I really hope you enjoyed this, if you did then please review and let me know your thoughts. I love reading your feedback.


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